Category Archives: divorced

SOAPBOX of the week: The skinny on stress

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“If worry were an effective weight-loss program,
    women would be invisible.”     – Nancy Drew, detective

This one is for the ladies to comedically commiserate each other with …and the guys to nod and do the eye-roll.  You know I’m right!  BUT it is so true!  We are such worrywarts, us gals…able to cover the gamut of “what-if’s, careful-not-to’s and woulda-shoulda-coulda’s” for a family of four -at least… and indeed we’d wipe ourselves out if each burned off its burden in calories!  So why do we do so, almost without second thought, and often without real reason?  Perhaps in looking past the symptoms, you’ll find the ultimate source of your fears, apprehension and needless lost sleep.  Choose to stare down those instigators or kick ‘em to the curb ….and you’ll gain a healthy wellbeing of calm, cool and collected.”

Copyright 2008 by Kimberlie Dykeman

SOAPBOX of the week: the cost of conflict

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“I cannot believe that war is the best solution. No one won the last war, and no one will win the next war.”     – Eleanor Roosevelt

It doesn’t matter the actual battlefield…be it Vietnam, Iraq or your own backyard…everyone experiences casualties, leaving no one celebrating an unscathed victory.  Lives are lost, time wasted and dignity sacrificed.  Communities are shaken and families are broken apart.  And you think, “What can I do?”  You can start by taking action in your own life.  Stop picking arguments, harboring anger and planning revenge!  Truthfully own up to the damage you’ve caused by instigating and fueling senseless conflicts.  And figure out a resolution that might actually help others while serving yourself.  Harmony might not immediately fill every neighborhood, but a peaceful feeling in your heart will certainly be resuscitated.  And that’s a good start.  Now, just think what might happen if more folks did just the same. 

Copyright 2008 by Kimberlie Dykeman

SOAPBOX of the week: laundry list love

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“You can’t sweep people off their feet, if you can’t be swept off your own.”     – Clarence Day, author
   
Are you still searching for that “love of your life”?  Waiting for your soulmate to show up and totally knock your socks off?!  And have you noticed that as your patience runs shorter, your number of must-haves runs longer?  I’ll bet your laundry list of expectations net an impossible Ken or Barbie…that virtually no one can measure up to.  If so, perhaps, as you’ve been looking with blinders on, countless loves looked-over you in turn –only experiencing you as a particular, judging and fearful person with a clipboard.  Yikes!  I’m not saying lower your expectations- I’m saying raise your curiosity and open your mind to things unfamiliar and off the list!  You might just be “wowed” by the fabulous, exciting new YOU that emerges…that could have crowds swooning!

Copyright 2008 by Kimberlie Dykeman

SOAPBOX of the week: woulda-shoulda-coulda

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“Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.”     – Euripides, playwright

Do they still perk up to haunt you?  Life’s countless regrets. The fashion trend you fell victim to.  Unexplainable hairstyles.  Person you dated.  Speaking your mind!  Quitting your job.   Spending the extra money.  Smoking this or drinking that.  Saying goodbye.  Saying I love you.  How about -that it’s taken forever to figure out what you really want to be when you grow up!  Pardon me, but aren’t you bored yet with the reruns, folks?  Unless you’ve got the power to turn back time, there’s no changing it.  And maybe some of those choices were really lifesavers!  Plus, the weight of grief…along with that weepy pout, ain’t making you any younger, smarter, or delightful to be around.  So dry your eyes and be glad you survived those not-so-fabulous experiences.  You might even come to laugh about ‘em!

Copyright 2008 by Kimberlie Dykeman

SOAPBOX of the week: One is the loneliest number

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“We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone, we find it with another.”  – Thomas Merton, author and social activist

We’ve all heard the adage: no man is an island entirely of himself.  You cannot fully experience yourself, find out who you are, until you experience who you are not.  From that the delicious fruits of life unfold.  What is of importance and priority.  What affects your heart.  Moves you to love or fear.  After all, a reflection of self only echoes back your perception.  But interaction with family and strangers alike chapters a whole new dimension to your reality- as it is….and could magically become.  Never abandon your devotion to soul-searching and peaceful solitude;  instead, though, weave your discoveries with those you cultivate through priceless communication.  Purpose, then, finds you through connection and creates a memoir certain to top the Best Sellers List. 

Copyright 2008 by Kimberlie Dykeman

SOAPBOX of the week: The spine of your own truth

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“This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the day the night, Thou canst then be false to any man.”   – Polonius of Shakespeare’s Hamlet

Standing up for who you are, what you believe in always commands a high price.  Facing the angst of a crossroads that challenges your character, you must decide if the cause is worth the risk, let alone if the time is right to righteously defend it.  You might lose face, possessions, position – even be banished by those you’d thought were in your corner!  In the end, demonstrating loyalty to your core values it is the noblest act of love and respect for yourself!  When your own moral code surpasses society’s unwritten policy manual at a cost, have faith that integrity will replace your initial losses with even greater gains.  Remain steadfast in your adherence to “thine own self” and reap the rewards of a clear conscience and stronger heart.

Copyright 2008 by Kimberlie Dykeman