EVOLVE or Decay Ep. 12: Divorce is not FAILURE

IMAGE-Divorce is not Failure

In today’s EVOLVE or Decay episode, Kimberlie Dykeman inspires divorced men to forgive themselves and reset for a better future. 

Never Stop EVOLVING.  – KD


©2016 Kimberlie Dykeman. Sponsored by Kimberlie Dykeman Enterprises Executive Performance Coaching, Retreats & Wingman Support for Gentlemen. Subscribe on iTunes

SOAPBOX® mini-motivation: how do you LOVE?

“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”     ~  Bible, Book of John

 What is Valentine’s Day??   Well, I see it as a singular spotlight shone on one day that tries to capture our collective attention to remind us what that 4-letter word really means.   So, surprise!  It’s not about gifts or apologies.  Nor expensive dinners or extravagant gestures.  It’s not just for married folks or couples.  Valentine’s Day is about L-O-V-E.   The profoundly tender affection or attachment that your heart and spirit feel towards another human being.  Plain and simple.  That said, it’s a day for everyone and about everyone!

Reminisce to your youth when you made cards for all your classmates -all colorful, overloaded with misshapen hearts and gaudy glitter still wet with Elmer’s glue.   You gave one to all your friends and school mates.  You gave one to your teacher.  Your neighbor.  Mom and Dad.  Heck, even your pet. (huh?)  Yup, everyone got a token of your heart telling them that you thought of them.  Back then you didn’t feel Hallmarked or bamboozled into making the damn cards.  You didn’t dread the self-imposed obligations of celebration.  And above all, you didn’t find yourself telling others (and yourself) that you just hate this day!

So, what if you decided to clean your grungy, negative or hopeless heart-shaped slate, and you took the day for what it is in its fleeting 24-hours.  Valentine’s Day is a timely nudge towards L-O-V-E.  So… who do you love?  When you think of all the folks who are dearly important in your life in some way or another (small or big), that’s a clear sign that you LOVE them.  When you enjoy their company, stand in their honor, offer to help without hesitation, feel peace and joy in your own heart in their presence… you indeed LOVE them.  And when you discover that one special person or select few chums for whom you would give your all and your life, well then, you have found the greatest LOVE, my friend.  And dare I say, you have also found God.    ~ KD

Copyright by Kimberlie Dykeman

Shop SOAPBOX® products with promise   & SUBSCRIBE to FREE MINI-MOTIVATION!!Pure Soapbox” book and audiobook available.  A portion of the proceeds of all book sales is donated to charities.  info@puresoapbox.com



SOAPBOX® mini-motivation: come to REAL life

“This world is a great sculptor’s shop.  We are the statues and there is a rumour going round the shop that some of us are some day going to come to life.” ~ C. S. Lewis, Christian apologist, novelist, poet, academic & literary critic

Indeed, who you appear to be, in body of nature is a mere shadow of who you may become in spirit.  Many believe that we are always evolving -for our surroundings, circumstances, genetics and choices give us a daily dance that either extends or extinguishes our possibilities.  But within the shell of skin and bones is a fertile planting ground for a spirit to grow and ultimately transform each of us.  No matter your faith or strength of it, someday you will forget your solid self for the sake of your soul and radiate that which will soon take over.  I believe we have all been created in such a way that movement is secondary to meaning; your pulse gives you eternal purpose .     ~ KD

Copyright by Kimberlie Dykeman

Shop SOAPBOX® products with purpose & SUBSCRIBE to FREE MINI-MOTIVATION!!Pure Soapbox” book and audiobook available. A portion of the proceeds of all book sales is donated to charities. info@puresoapbox.com

SOAPBOX® mini-motivation: foundation of communication

“Truth without love is brutality… love without truth is hypocrisy.”     ~ Warren Wiersbe, pastor, Christian writer, speaker

Read these words outloud.  Then read it again and let the magic eclipse our world’s confounded reality.  Think about it.  Stew on it.  Memorize it.  Tattoo it on your heart, mind and lips.  Then… practice it.  Hone it.  Communicate it. Cherish it.  Teach it.  Focus on it the rest of your days.  And LIVE it….for a more blessed life depends on it.  As does a better world.  Become a walking example of truth and love, and leave a wake of followers who do the very same.   ~ KD

Copyright by Kimberlie Dykeman

Shop SOAPBOX® products with purpose & SUBSCRIBE to FREE MINI-MOTIVATION!!   “Pure Soapbox” book and audiobook available. A portion of the proceeds of all book sales is donated to charities. info@puresoapbox.com

SOAPBOX® mini-motivation: homeless or hopeless?

“We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked  and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the  greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of  poverty.”     ~ Mother  Teresa, nun, peaceful missionary & worldwide civil servant

 What a day. What a physically, mentally and spiritually exhausting, yet magically fulfilling and hope-inspiring day. As I type before heading to sleep, the glistening spotlight in my mind still shines on the few hours spent sharing infectious laughter, thought-provoking conversation, and heart-wrenching tear-filled stories with some hundred people or so this late morning. Know that I write this not to showcase my meager charitable efforts, but to share a monumental a-ha in my own mind.

If I could have watched from afar I would have witnessed myself as an outsider literally melting into a crowd; the steadfast and stoic force field dissolving to morph complete strangers into a simple crowd of God’s children. Another trip to a shelter…like a myriad others… where the ultimate goals for its countless, seemingly nameless patrons are never met…and perhaps never will be. “End homelessness” is still the proud banner on the building’s marquis, but most who gather show signs of no end in sight.  Just as the “haves” toe the precarious line of accepting the homeless situation as a problem that just cannot be solved, the “have-nots” stand in mirror reflection.  I know that even if I visited their grounds every single day with food, clothing, and opportunity for shelter …not even a dent would be made.  For the real problem isn’t lack of these wish-list items.  The real problem is buried deep within the souls of the homeless. No matter what choices they have made to land them in their current collective circumstances, the destruction and rubble lay heavy in their body, minds and spirits.  They live under the weight of overpowering feelings of being unwanted, unloved, uncared, insignificant, incapable, unworthy, unequal, and inhuman, and they wear a badge of hopelessness.  No obligatory holiday drive or food drop-off will ever remedy their pain, let alone stop the perpetuation of thousands more joining their disheveled, disjointed crowds.  Indeed, I believe many who fall into the demise of homelessness and succumb to  its evil accompanying activities can choose to change their habits and perhaps become the very light at the end of their tunnels.

But society has a responsibility  as well.  As individuals we are each specially gifted to help, and perhaps a resolution lies in truly owning up to the impact we can have on future generations.  We have the opportunity each and every day to turn strangers into peers through words and actions that spread nothing but love and compassion.  After all, you never know, the person who stands inches from you might be just inches from one last choice that would lead to their own homelessness.  And what if the right word or action from you were to create a miraculous intervention?

Perhaps we cannot end homelessness in our own lifetimes, folks.  But I’m willing to bet that if we all worked on ending hopelessness, the problem might fix itself.

Copyright by Kimberlie Dykeman.

Shop SOAPBOX® products with purpose & SUBSCRIBE to FREE MINI-MOTIVATION! “Pure Soapbox” book and audiobook available. A portion of the proceeds of all book sales is donated to charities. info@puresoapbox.com

SOAPBOX® mini-motivation: pageant or poetry

“Climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air and behold the view. Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you.”       ~ David McCullough, modern-day English teacher

Life is not a pageant.  And yet we  unabashedly tuck this gloriously divine journey and spontaneously shared experience into a flippant 4-letter word and dress it up like a calamatied, desperate, purpose-less reality star who ultimately exploits and extinguishes her own value.  Life is not charading parade of nipped and tucked excuses of beauty…of average activities reupholstered to elicit wooing and swooning in hopes of earning awards no more valuable or necessary  than a 14 carat gold tombstone.  Life is not a calling to exhibit one’s presumed importance for awe’s sake of our 7 billion relatives.  For life is LIFE.  It’s like light and air and thoughts and bodies… it’s just there.  And we all have IT… for some time.  And no one’s is more important.  For we are all but a sum of parts playing on a gameboard on an unpretentious planet… and when one piece gets taken away, the game still goes on.

And so, perhaps life is like a poetry slam, or so I humbly reflect.  A dedicated effort of an affected orator striving to breathe life into the written word with emphatic, emoting performance that eggs both speaker and audience to tug the air for more oxygen and the room for more space and actions for more meaning.  Life is emulated by the aerobic effort required by this act of igniting possibilities into a kinetic energy that spills on and rips through every thread of those in the same circling space.   And yet the expansion of meaning in the mutterings from muted paper are mere reflections of the challenges of the poet himself.  Though he stands upon a stage, he knows his spectators ironically watch themselves shift under influence, and he is without need of approval.  For the poet alone strives to make it to the top of a metaphorical mountain…but for the experience alone of seeing a new view revealed upon his last breath into the last particle of punctuation.  Breath to thoughts to words to actions to breath again… and then another upward hike to enlightenment.  Unstaged life unfolding.   ~ KD

Copyright by Kimberlie Dykeman.

Shop SOAPBOX® products with purpose & SUBSCRIBE to FREE ! “Pure Soapbox” book and audiobook available. A portion of the proceeds of all book sales is donated to charity. Book KIMBERLIE to confetti your company with OPTIMISM! info@puresoapbox.com